Right now, in this very moment, all I want in this whole entire world is to have my arms around you as I fall asleep, and wake up with my arms still wrapped around you.

Fuck, what am I talking about, it's pretty much every moment, not just "in this very moment".

Purely for this reason, JB ain't so bad.

The tiniest truth in false hope would sometimes be worth the fight.

But in some ways I think I've come to terms with how simple it all is, because no matter what I do the outcome won't change. Doesn't mean it is any less upsetting, or any less painful, or even more bearable. But at the least it's knowing, that whatever happens from here on out, nothing will come of it the way I imagined. And then again, as they say - truth hurts.

They say you don't know what you've got until it's gone, and I agree wholeheartedly. If you could weigh how heavy my heart is over this you would understand too.

People say shit like if you broke up then she obviously wasn't the one for you, what people don't fucking understand is that it was a wrong decision to split, and with this amount of regret I'm pretty sure I'd know who I actually is "that person" thats compatible with me. So the whole 'wasn't the one for you' shit falls right down to fate, which I'd gladly ignore, because fate doesn't decide my fuck-ups.

In other news, this girl my brother is seeing, sleeping with or whatever the fuck is annoying, somebody come slit her fucking throat in her sleep so I don't have to deal with a second dog in my house.

You win.

You win, I submit, I concede. Will you come back now?

These thoughts don't end, they aren't something you can throw into words and put into a box for the internet, but I'm leaving offline messages for people that may never read or care about what I have to say anyways, why shouldn't I bury more of me into more boxes?

It's funny how I always bitch and moan about not having friends and growing apart from friends, when if you asked me now what I would give to have what I had back, I would gift wrap anything for you, just to have it back. Even friends.

Guess I'm too much of a baby to not bitch and moan more. I told myself I wouldn't do this, write stupid shit on stupid e-paper to let stupid people read about stupid things, but I have nothing else to turn to.

PS: If you ever think you have an emotion, a feeling you want to hold on to, one that you truly feel you're the only person to experience, even though in reality you may experience it differently to others, google search it, you'll come to terms with the simple fact that there's a song out there describing it. So fuck you music, for taking away the originality of my emotions, for turning tears into words, feelings into lyrics, and everything else into rhythm.